tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-64715833933464508622024-02-06T19:44:28.678-08:00A land far, far, away...Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.comBlogger100125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-44722765871628834972012-04-07T17:59:00.000-07:002012-04-07T17:59:14.954-07:00New Life: Jacob's homecoming<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBVSc1g7CB2kINHokYoy_sQajjcV-9lw_IdEizLuqqS23JEv_DaGiGdqrmOoG_8w85pJF09cAvxK-0TW3Mwa1FALuORspp_90XkSNpTsoZoneG3TBPh76O63zyZaQfd4gW4eZ0c-36ZQ/s1600/Random+2012+519.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="134" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFBVSc1g7CB2kINHokYoy_sQajjcV-9lw_IdEizLuqqS23JEv_DaGiGdqrmOoG_8w85pJF09cAvxK-0TW3Mwa1FALuORspp_90XkSNpTsoZoneG3TBPh76O63zyZaQfd4gW4eZ0c-36ZQ/s200/Random+2012+519.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrCEBGzIfOPGroxucYnIr_6qbhSnu84660HPuWmwzSOeCe8jrivMlKwCbIySY8RZvUPiFGlChrDPcj9rOIoyqigEWmOSVHm_qloz4-J9A89i5Qp37sDquetK3v9ZXkxzsiFcw98SlN1qE/s1600/Random+2012+627.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="214" width="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrCEBGzIfOPGroxucYnIr_6qbhSnu84660HPuWmwzSOeCe8jrivMlKwCbIySY8RZvUPiFGlChrDPcj9rOIoyqigEWmOSVHm_qloz4-J9A89i5Qp37sDquetK3v9ZXkxzsiFcw98SlN1qE/s320/Random+2012+627.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-36399350912744524292012-03-26T07:52:00.000-07:002012-03-26T07:52:07.006-07:00Left BehindI cannot recall our own journey home with Jacob without being haunted by the ones that we left behind. At Jacob's institution, the workers tried to keep us hidden from the other children. They guarded the doors when the kids walked by in the hallway. They even gently closed the door in my face when I was watching the boys pass by in front of the visitation room. At first I thought that they had something to hide. Were they mistreating the kids? Was there atrocities that they didn't want people on the outside to see? This just didn't seem to be the case. The older and more physically able boys were clean, well mannered and well fed. They even had art and music classes for them. Yes, their methods could be archaic and there was a understanding of the potential of differently-abled children that was about 50 years behind the times, but they genuinely seemed to care about the childlren. Then why all the secrecy?<br />
<br />
I found out on the day of our court hearing. The two social workers gathered around me while we waited. Brad was sitting across the room since there was not room to sit right next to me. The ladies saw this as their opportunity to ask all the things they had wondered about me. My facilitator translated questions about what we eat, where we live, would our other kids be jealous, would Jacob ever walk? Their curiosity finally satisfied, the social worker from the institution told me through our translator that the other kids were very sad and upset that Jacob now had a mama and a daddy and they didn't.<br />
<br />
"Why does he get a Mama and he is only 5 yrs old and I am 10 yrs old?"<br />
<br />
They had been waiting so long and had given up hope and now miraculously, one of them had a mama and daddy show up. Could it happen to them? Why hadn't it already happened to them? Was their mama and daddy still out there somewhere and coming?<br />
<br />
How can anyone possibly answer these questions? It feels like a crushing weight on my heart to just hear the questions, much less ponder the answers.<br />
<br />
"You will probably never have a mama and daddy sweet child. There is no one coming."<br />
<br />
How can we take away their hope like this? So no one answers them. The nannies hide us away from the kids and try to distract them from their sadness. After this I hide myself away too so that I don't contribute to their grief.<br />
<br />
There are SO many orphans. <br />
<br />
There are so many that are available for adoption and have people who desperately want to go rescue them but can't because, let's be honest, who has $24,000 just lying around? <br />
<br />
Take a look at the pictures and see if maybe you see your son or daughter staring back at you. See if you feel moved to contribute to their grants to help their mama and daddy afford the up front costs.<br />
<br />
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This is Heath...he is 10 years old and has a family that wants him and would go tomorrow if they had the money. <br />
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This little guy is Brandon...he is 6 years old and will be transferred out of his baby house any day now to a mental institution.<br />
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This is Laurel...she has expressed her yearnings for a family to another adoptive parent. In about 6 months she will be 16 years old and will no longer be eligible for adoption. There are families that want to go get her but can't because of the lack of funding.<br />
<br />
There are so many others. You can find out more about them or donate to their adoption grants at Reece's Rainbow website. <br />
<br />
http://reecesrainbow.org/Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-26018624992938632052012-03-22T11:24:00.000-07:002012-03-22T11:24:26.279-07:00So close but so far awayAfter all the embassy appointments and all the medical appointment and the months of waiting and visiting and missing my kids, we were finally done. <br />
<br />
I recruited a new American friend who lives and works with orphans in Kiev to accompany me on the second and final visit to the embassy. She is again one of the steady stream of guardian angels that the Lord provided for me. My friend Jennifer, another adoptive mom who was in Ukraine the same time as us, found Karen through her blog and connected me with her. Being an American citizen, Karen could accompany me all the way into the embassy and provide an extra pair of hands with Jacob. We had to pick up his visa, which was his ticket into America. We had about an hour wait and before we knew it we were done. Eugene dropped us off at our apartment and then I just looked around and thought "Now what?" I had been in full frenzy planning mode for so long and now were were done. I had Jacob's documents all in order, I had packed our bags the night before. It felt like we were all dressed up with no place to go!<br />
<br />
I was beyond restless. I just wanted to get on a plane right that second, but had to wait until the next morning. I could tell that Jacob was really stressed out, so I decided to give him a warm bath to help him calm down. Man, did that backfire on me! I ran the water in the tub and used my sheet of Russian phrases to tell Jacob that it was bath time. No sooner did I say "bath" than Jacob's little face just crumpled into buckets and buckets of tears. No amount of reassurance or warm water or toys could convince him that I wasn't trying to kill him. In hindsight I should have just put his clothes back on and said forget the bath! I finished as quick as I could and wrapped him in a towel. Unfortunately, with all the hysterical crying, along with a VERY congested nose from a chronic sinus infection, Jacob started gagging and vomited all over himself. I felt so horrible. I had to bath him again. More hysterical crying. Followed by more vomiting. Followed by (you guessed it) another bath and more hysterical crying. Third time was the charm and I managed to get him dressed and warm without needing another bath. I sure needed a bath though! <br />
<br />
Jacob and I could both barely sleep that night. He was really used to being confined in a crib, so the wide open bed was really hard for him. He was very anxious and restless the entire night. I used sofa cushions to fashion a more confined space for him to sleep in and that helped him some. We both were up at 2am even though we didn't really need to wake up for another hour. I got us both ready, made certain I had all of Jacob's adoption and embassy documents in order and waited for out driver. My backpack was crammed full of changes of clothes, diapers and snacks. I left everything I could possibly live without in Kiev so ensure that I could pack everything in one checked duffel bag and one backpack. <br />
<br />
I didn't even care that I had to be up so early with so little sleep. I was on my way home and I was so focused on that that nothing else mattered to me. Eugene loaded us in the car and drove us through the dark and silent streets of Kiev for the last time. Jacob was very calm in the car. It was almost as if he sensed that something big was about to happen. I had this feeling of deep sadness for him. This was the last time he would see him birth country for a very long time. <br />
<br />
Before I knew it we were there and checked in and Eugene was saying goodbye to me at security. I had Eugene kneel down and tell Jacob in Russian to not be afraid and that we were going to get on a plane and fly to see his daddy. I am not certain he had any idea at all what we were talking about, but I wanted to a least try to explain things to him. I will miss Eugene. He is a good man and has such a good heart.<br />
<br />
We made it through security and headed over to the immigration line that is the last big hurdle for Jacob to leave the country. I have dealt with a lot of grumpy immigration workers over the years, so I was not too worried. They seem to like to give adoptive families a little bit of a hard time just to make a point. I had to prove that I had in fact legally adopted Jacob and that he really is an orphan. Jacob helped me out here by deciding that he had had enough of sitting in the stroller without moving and began to protest loudly. That seemed to get the ball rolling a little faster and we were out of there in about 20 minutes.<br />
<br />
I had about an hour to wait before my plane boarded, so I bought a water and fed Jacob a banana. At this point, he started to tantrum. Brad called me and I asked him to pray that I would be empathetic, calm and long suffering with Jacob. I realized that I couldn't control whether or not Jacob screamed the entire way to America, but I could ask God to help me control my attitude about it. I didn't really blame Jacob for being upset. I can't imagine what Jacob thought was going on. It had to be so scary and so confusing to him.<br />
<br />
It was finally time to board and I handed the lady my boarding pass and turned the corner to see 2 flights of stairs down to the tarmac and another set of rolling stairs to board the plane. I kind of stared at it like "now what" and a young German man asked me in perfect English if I needed help. <br />
<br />
I heard the Lord's voice saying to me "I know where you are. I know what you need." <br />
<br />
Of course He does. I felt a deep sense of peace that God had hand selected guardian angels all along the way for me.<br />
<br />
The young man insisted on carrying everything for me down the stairs and up onto the plane. Jacob was stimming a lot and I briefly explained that this was his first time outside of the orphanage and that I was taking him home to America. You will not believe what happened next. The young man told me that he used to work with orphans in Romania. he knew exactly what Jacob was going though. He took a whole new interest in Jacob and made sure we were settled in our seats before returning to his own seat. Jacob did pretty well on the first part of our journey. It was only a 2 hour flight to Munich. He rocked on his knees the entire time, but we were blessed with a seatmate who apparently can sleep through anything! :) After we landed in Munich for our layover, the young man then waited for me and carried everything off the plane for me! Such a blessing!<br />
<br />
My travel agent had arranged for assistance for Jacob and I at every airport, so we were greeted with an assistant who carried everything for me and was my personal tour guide to the correct gate. Jacob again began to tantrum the moment I put him in his stroller. I have to admit that I was completely okay with this system. Quiet in the airplane...scream your head off at the airport. The other way around would have made us a lot of enemies.<br />
<br />
I had a two hour layover, so I looked around for a place to get breakfast. I found a quiet restaurant with large open booths and not very many people. Perfect for Jacob. He needed the peace and quiet and a break from the anxiety that the crowds were causing him. I ordered the largest breakfast on the menu and paid $27 dollars for it. It was enough for Jacob and I both. He was so happy that I was feeding him and he giggled when I put the first bite of scrambled egg in his mouth. I even got him to say egg. :)<br />
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I felt like a new woman after my first real meal in days. I had been so busy with Jacob that I had not eaten much more than bread and cheese and yogurt since we got off the train in Kiev.<br />
<br />
I went to our gate to wait for time to board the plane. It was a huge open space that I could let Jacob explore and play to his hearts content. He loved seeing his reflection in the shiny floors. I could just imagine him yelling "FREEDOM" inside his little head.<br />
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I was so happy when they finally called our name to board. We got to board first and get settled. I can not say enough good things about the flight crew for Lufthansa. I explained a little bit of Jacob's history and explained that while I was thankful that they reserved the bulkhead seat for me, I really needed to be in one of the groups of three seats by the window. Jacob needed the security of feeling like he was safe and away from everyone. His rocking was also very disruptive. It shook the entire seat. I thought in a group of 3 seats all by ourselves that we would all be happier. <br />
<br />
My next guardian angel was a lovely middle aged lady who lived in NYC but was originally from Eastern Europe. She heard part of Jacob's story and offered to sit with me to help. I was so touched by her offer. I felt that Jacob would do better with just the two of us and thanked her profusely. She kept an eye on me for the rest of the flight though. She even got up from her seat once when I took Jacob to the bathroom to make sure I was okay and asked if I needed anything. Just her encouragement and knowing that someone was there if I needed them gave me such peace of mind. She was a Christian lady and kept telling me that God would bless me. I wanted to tell her that He already had blessed me by sending me her!<br />
<br />
Jacob fell asleep for about 45 minutes and it was a wonderful break for both of us. I think he would have slept longer except we took off and his sinus infection made his ears hurt with the pressure change. He sure was cute while he slept though!<br />
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The flights attendants were so gracious and sweet. They took turns coming to us and checking to see if I needed anything. More water, more snacks, anything I needed. The flight really went way better than I had expected. Jacob rocked on his knees for 8 hours straight, which was a little unnerving. I was afraid he would hurt himself. It was really sad to see him so anxious and unable to accept any comfort from me yet. He rocked in a desperate attempt to sooth himself. The passengers around me were very gracious. I am certain that the constant seat rocking was unsettling for the lady behind Jacob. About 2 hours before we landed, Jacob became a little agitated. We had eaten macaroni and cheese for one of the meals that had a very strong garlic taste. Jacob only took a few bites, but it must have upset his stomach. He finally projectile vomited against the window of the plane. I know that sounds awful, and it was, but the miraculous part is that he vomited a LOT, but still managed to keep my clothes, his own clothes (except for one little spot), our back pack, and everyone around us, perfectly clean! Man was I thankful!! I only had to pick him up, change his clothes and move to another seat. All the ladies around me swung into action. The lady behind me ran to get the stewardess, the lady beside me passed me blankets and the lady who originally offered to help, ran up to tell me she was moving to another seat so that we would have enough room in our original bulkhead seats.<br />
<br />
I realized that Jacob would be calmer if I sang to him, so I sang silly made up songs for the next hour and a half. "Jacob Aaron, I love you. I love you oh yes I do!" I invented every possible silly variation to the tune of the kids song, wheels on the bus. My throat was pretty sore when I landed, but Jacob was happy and quiet and that was all that mattered.<br />
<br />
We landed and the stewardess asked me to wait for an escort who would help me through baggage and immigration. We were the last to leave and the group of stewardesses wished us well and our escort (a really nice lady who was originally from Greece) grabbed my backpack and purse and told me to follow her. She wanted to know all about and kept telling me "God bless you!" she was just so sweet and cheerful. It was a nice greeting to receive after being away from home for so long.<br />
<br />
I didn't realize, but my friendly little Greek helper was my ticket to the head of every line. Immigration and customs had lines a mile long, but she took me to the head of each one. Praise the Lord. My stomach dropped when I saw the length of that first line!<br />
<br />
Before I knew it, Jacob was a brand new American citizen. Welcome home Jacob!!<br />
<br />
Now to go find daddy and to meet all his new family.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf_6opQkQUVqjMnW3VfXSebnueCllF2kkXzmqW5931qENdZXYVp7CVpSAffFeqzsKImrYRm_8uXv5VW3IHc1JVN6a179K0W_Hk8TA4imTRjCDyw6vmRvYYZvRuyICEctmBgAR4OXNVdsY/s1600/Random+2012+545.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="134" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf_6opQkQUVqjMnW3VfXSebnueCllF2kkXzmqW5931qENdZXYVp7CVpSAffFeqzsKImrYRm_8uXv5VW3IHc1JVN6a179K0W_Hk8TA4imTRjCDyw6vmRvYYZvRuyICEctmBgAR4OXNVdsY/s200/Random+2012+545.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-83762564606745789312012-03-13T18:32:00.000-07:002012-03-13T18:32:24.632-07:00The Embassy and Medical AppointmentMy embassy day began innocently enough. Jacob and I arrived at our apartment and he seemed calm and happy to just be able to scoot around and explore. There was a small balcony so I stashed everything breakable outside and baby proofed the best I could. It was so fun to just see Jacob being an inquisitive little boy. He climbed on the sofa (a million times) tried on my boots, and drummed loudly on two empty 5 gallon water bottles.<br />
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<br />
<br />
We had to be at the embassy by 9am and before we knew it the time had flown by and our driver was there to pick us up. I packed my back pack full of snacks and diapers as well as folders full of documents and headed to our appointment. Traffic was terrible and the snowy roads were not helping matters. It took what felt like forever to arrive at the embassy. It probably was not very long, but Jacob was starting to be restless in the car. He was clearly close to his limit with all the traveling we had been doing in the last 24 hours.<br />
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The U.S. Embassy was a HUGE compound. My driver took me as far as he could, which was just inside the main doors. You have to have an American passport to get any farther inside. I was carrying Jacob and balancing backpacks (mine and his) and trying to get my coat off to go through security. One nice security lady finally took pity on me and just had me walk through with everything and scanned me with a hand wand. I set off the alarm because I forgot I had coins in my pocket, but thankfully that was quickly resolved. I was led outside across a courtyard, down two flights of stairs and into an impressively sterile building with rows of service windows and chairs for waiting. There was hardly anyone there but me. I was called to the window almost immediately and quickly realized that I had a serious problem on my hands. What was I going to do with Jacob?<br />
<br />
I had to unpack several folders worth of very important and notarized documents...his birth certificate with his new name, the court decrees, proof that he was an orphan, etc…<br />
<br />
I tried to balance Jacob on the ledge of the window and keep his little curious hand off the documents and listen to what the lady was asking me to give her. Jacob squirmed and fussed and pushed away from me and grabbed at documents and banged on the glass. <br />
<br />
That is when my first of many guardian angels along with journey appeared. A Ukrainian lady who sitting in the waiting area came over and held out her arms to Jacob. She only spoke a few words of English but what she said next was music to my ears. “I am a grandmother.” She picked him up out of my arms, took the snack cookies I offered her and carried my overwhelmed squirmy son to the waiting area. I wanted to cry in gratitude and sheer relief. This was the start of what I call the great brain fog. I had very little sleep and felt like despite my best efforts, I just could not make sense of what the embassy worker was asking me. She was so nice and patient with me. Each time she asked me for a document I held up a piece of paper for her to look at...sometimes I got lucky and it was the correct one. Finally she suggested that I just give everything I had to her and she would find it. Sounded like a fabulous idea to me! I tried to listen and understand what she was telling me when she showed me each document that she was keeping and what she was going to do with it. Out of the corner of my eye I also saw my guardian angel grandmother doing her best to keep Jacob from flinging himself out of her arms in a desperate attempt to escape the building. (Have I mentioned that Jacob’s first autonomic response to perceived threats is ALWAYS flight?) <br />
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Finally it was over and she was handing me papers and telling me to be at my medical appointment by 2pm. I would have agreed to anything at this point. I collected Jacob from the miraculously still smiling grandmother who was now covered in chewed up cookie smears and thanked her from the bottom of my heart. I really wanted to hug and kiss her but wasn’t certain how that would go over.<br />
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Jacob and I climbed the 2 flights of stairs back up to the main security area and back out of the front door. It was freezing outside and I had not zipped up my jacket. Jacob only had one shoe on because the other would not stay on his foot. I rushed to where our driver had parked to drop us off and began to panic...he wasn’t there anymore. I walked back and forth up and down the side walk praying that he would see us. I wasn’t allowed to take my cell phone into the embassy with me so I couldn’t call him. We were starting to get a lot of disapproving stares. It was entirely too cold to have Jacob out with one shoe off and no hat...he had pulled it off and I didn’t have a free hand to put it back on his head.<br />
<br />
Finally our driver rushed up the side walk yelling my name. Relief is too small of a word to describe what I was feeling.<br />
<br />
He loaded us back into the car and began the trip to our medical appointment. Jacob crawled all over the backseat. There are no carseats in Ukraine and holding onto Jacob was proving to be a difficult task. He was agitated and overstimulated. It was good that we were barely crawling along with the bumper to bumper traffic. It was a miracle that Eugene didn’t get hit in the head with the toys and hats that Jacob kept bouncing off the front windshield. <br />
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We arrived at the medical facility and walked in the front doors. This is where time sort of stands still for me. I had Jacob in my arms and paused in the front foyer for Eugene to buy shoe covers we were required to wear. Jacob, who had been squirming and rocking in my arms suddenly went dead still. I looked at him and then looked where he was looking and realized then and there that we were in trouble. Jacob’s eyes looked panicked and glazed over. The women working in the medical facility had the same uniforms as the nannies wore in his institution. Jacob thought I was taking him to another institution. He clung to me in terror and I felt powerless to reassure him that I would never leave him. I kept repeating, “I am your Mama.” and “Don’t be afraid.” over and over in Russian. These were the only phrases that I knew.<br />
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As we walked further into the building Jacob (whose first instinct you remember is flight) decided that he was taking matters into his own hands and began desperately to try to get out of my arms. We were in a crowded and narrow hallway with floors wet with dirty melted snow. There was no way I could put him down. He pushed and twisted and threw his weight backwards out of my arms over and over again. He is not a large child for his age, but he is 30lbs. I finally just had to lock my hands together and hold on for dear life. I remember thinking to myself, I just won’t let go and we will get through this. It can’t last forever. <br />
<br />
At the end of the hallway were 4 other adoptive families that I knew and I have never been so relieved. These were the same families that I had eaten dinner with at TGIFridays almost 6 weeks ago. Seeing their precious little babies in their laps was beautiful. <br />
<br />
Five less orphans in the world. <br />
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I am sure I looked desperate. They kept telling me, “You are doing it!” and encouraged me to just hang on for a little longer. They showed me a small playroom and I was able (against my better judgement) to put Jacob down to play on the dirty but thankfully dry floor. I will wash his hands later, and who cares what all these people staring at us think!<br />
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Eugene was not only my driver, but also my translator for the day, and he came after what seemed like an eternity and told me the doctor was ready for me.<br />
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This next part is why this post is taking weeks to complete. It is why I am still walking around looking normal but still feeling traumatized. It might now seem like very much in the big scheme of everything, but it felt like I had an encounter with something very evil.<br />
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Eugene told me that this doctor was one of the good ones. At first I thought he meant compassionate but I realized later that I had misunderstood and that he really meant that she would not make it difficult to pass the physical and would basically sign off on anything.<br />
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I carried Jacob into the examining room and met a the doctor, a lady with very dark and dramatic eye-liner. It began with the normal height and weight check. She listened to his heart briefly. Jacob was still very panicked and the nurse watched him climb all over everything and try to tear down the walls to escape the room. <br />
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“Is he always like this?” the doctor asked me. <br />
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“No, he is just frightened.”<br />
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“Does he speak?” she wanted to know.<br />
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“Yes, but only a few words.”<br />
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“So he can’t speak then.” It was a statement and not a question.<br />
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I really didn’t know how to respond to this so I just stood there.<br />
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“Is he on any medication?”<br />
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“Not right now.” I went on to tell her that he had been on a sedating medication while at the institution.<br />
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What happened is still just so difficult for me. I am not certain why it was so hard. It’s not like I’ve never met stupid people before. I guess part of me was just not expecting it from a doctor...someone who is supposed to care about people.<br />
<br />
She looked at Jacob with disgust and told me that I needed to sedate him again. She told me I was irresponsible and rude to have him around other people who might be bothered by his behavior. I tried to tell her that he was just afraid and that at the apartment he was actually very calm. She interrupted me to tell me that I needed to consider all the other paying passengers on the airplane who he would disturb and how is wasn’t fair to them for me to have him around them when he wasn’t sedated.<br />
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I realized that she was getting angry with me and started to be afraid that she would not give me the approval I needed to leave the country with Jacob. I finally stammered something about maybe I would try to give him benedryl to make him sleep on the plane. <br />
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I had heard about the intense prejudice and judgmental attitudes that many people in Jacob’s country have toward people with special needs, but I was just no prepared to have it so in my face. I felt and still feel, wounded by her words. I am heart broken for Jacob and all the other children like him who are seen as so worthless and hardly even human because of their special needs.. <br />
<br />
I took my papers and scooped Jacob up in my arms and walked like a zombie through the rest of my time at the clinic. I walked into the cafeteria where the other mom’s were eating with their kids and tried really hard to remain stoic. I knew that if I stared crying that I wouldn’t be able to stop. I took one look at all my Christian sister’s and realized that it is only because of the grace and mercy of God that I don’t have the same attitude as that doctor. Without Him I would be just as rotten to the core. Jacob was clearly out of control, but my sweet Sisters jumped into action. They were God’s hands and feet to me that day. One mom shouted encouragement from across the room, another told Eugene what to order Jacob and I for lunch, another plucked Jacob out of my arms to give me a break and gave me her sweet snuggly little baby boy who is blessed with an extra chromosome. He felt like a feather after holding Jacob for so long and I wanted to cry in relief. The muscles in my arms and shoulders were on fire from holding him for so long. Before I knew it, my food was in front of me and my driver, realizing how fried I was, opened my coke and poured it into a glass for me. <br />
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The Lord was with me. He knew I would need guardian angels and he sent me tons of them. <br />
<br />
I finished the rest of my medical visit and arrived several hours later back at my apartment. I was so tired that I would barely climb the 5 flights of stairs with Jacob. I would climb one flight and lean against the wall with him. Then I would gather my strength and climb one more. <br />
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When I called Brad that night I think I cried for 20 minutes before I would even say any coherent words to him. I did it. I made it one more step. I survived.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-60358387077031742232012-03-02T16:54:00.000-08:002012-03-02T16:54:00.377-08:00The Overnight Train RideThe train ride! Oh, have mercy the train ride! I can only imagine what Jacob must have been feeling...he leaves the institution, gets in a car, arrives at a strange (and not very baby proof) apartment where he plays for just a few hours, then he is whisked back into the car and onto a train. (With a brief stop where his new Mama runs into a grocery store to buy plastic bags containing our dinner...a breaded cutlet and football shaped mashed potatoes that we discovered were stuffed with onions and mushrooms.) I opted for the first class compartment this time around. It had a padded wall behind the bunk and a lot more pillows and blankets to pad the floor. It was cold and slushy and we had to walk a long way from the car to the train, but we finally made it. My facilitator and her husband loaded us on and got us settled. I took Jacob out of his jacket and thought...Here we go! The first leg of our journey together. We were both really hungry so I made us a picnic and we shared the cutlet and mashed potatoes. The cutlet was wonderful, but the mushrooms were not great so we just ate the potatoes. I could tell Jacob was nervous, but there was really nothing he could hurt himself on so I just closed and locked our door and let him explore.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjER1s_SSTqNyo1lnBo9gpBraUqTTZSJ9vW0qjX9olA9Mr6yOIh-jpMyRKGFXtB5duhxycpsWV3aUl5vQ2ZIKUDF9mbnLGiYSUB9KyWqED3UW50WqpGceEzcZXN2HxmFbM8JdhEr9z70JI/s1600/IMG_5948.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjER1s_SSTqNyo1lnBo9gpBraUqTTZSJ9vW0qjX9olA9Mr6yOIh-jpMyRKGFXtB5duhxycpsWV3aUl5vQ2ZIKUDF9mbnLGiYSUB9KyWqED3UW50WqpGceEzcZXN2HxmFbM8JdhEr9z70JI/s200/IMG_5948.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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The lady who was the attendant of the car was not very nice, but I only had to see her to hand her my ticket. I had hoped that maybe she would be sweet like the lady Brad and and met on the way into our region so I could ask her to watch Jacob if I needed a bathroom break. No such luck with this lady...I decided to not drink very much water. :) After dinner we played for just a minute but we were both tired so I turned out the light and tucked Jacob into his bunk. This is when I got my first glimpse into how Jacob puts himself to sleep. I had been warned about kids rocking themselves to sleep, but Jacob’s version looked more like a seizure with loud hissing noises. It was heartbreaking to watch. He would let me lay at the end of his bunk, but didn’t want be right next to him or touching him. I stretched out my leg along the edge of his bunk and every once in awhile he would stop rocking and I would feel this little feathery touch on my foot. My sweet boy making his first brave attempts to accept a mother’s presence and comfort while he sleeps. I sang made up songs telling him that I loved him and that he would never be alone again. Finally he drifted off to sleep.<br />
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I am not sure if the deep snow effects the train or not, but it was the bumpiest train I have ever been on. It was difficult to sleep. At one point we were almost bounced out of our bunks. We both slept fitfully. After one particularly hard bump, Jacob woke up and sat up in bed, It was about 2am. He just grabbed me and hugged me and cried his little heart out. I had never heard him cry before. It was heart wrenching. It took him almost an hours to settle down enough to sleep again. Again I stretched my leg out next to him and he would pat my foot this time. <br />
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The train arrived at 5:30am and it felt like I had been wrung out and hung to dry. I was tired and hungry and very thirsty. I have never been so happy to see someone as I was to see Nico, our driver. He carried everything but Jacob and we made our way off the train, across the platform and down many flights of stairs to the parking lot. Nico explained what I would need to bring with me in a few hours when Eugene, the other driver, would pick me up and take me to the embassy. I tried really hard to make my brain work, but it was so early. I finally decided that I would just bring everything and hope for the best. Nico stopped and ran into a small store for me to buy me some yogurt for breakfast. He came out with two yogurts and a loaf of bread...in case I didn’t have any and needed it later. Such a sweet and thoughtful man. I am guessing that he is accustomed to bleary eyed, shell shocked, overwhelmed adoptive mothers and was making certain I would have something to eat later. <br />
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Jacob and I trudge up the 5 flights of stairs to our Kiev apartment and got settled in before we had to begin what would be one of the hardest and longest days of my life. The embassy day...Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-75446163931460136202012-02-29T17:15:00.000-08:002012-02-29T17:15:38.167-08:00Tues Feb 21st: Gotcha Day and Train rideGotcha day was a snowing, sleeting mess of a day, but I woke up hours before my alarm went off. I was just so nervous and excited that I couldn’t sleep. My friend Jennifer and her daughter arrived on the overnight train from Kiev bright and early (about 6am) and would be sharing the apartment with me for about 12 hours while they rushed around doing their own paper-job for her sweet Joshua. Having a new good friend in region was such a blessing to us. She was a sight for sore eyes after I had been alone for about a week. We had about 2 seconds to catch up and then I was heading out to finish up the last of the official business before Gotcha could happen. Every orphan is giving a government bank account with a small monthly stipend. I had to clear out the account before I could get Jacob. It is customary to donate this money back to the orphanage and this what I did. The lady filling out our paperwork at the bank kept looking at me and finally asked Sasha to ask me why I was adopting Jacob and would he ever walk and talk. She wanted to know a lot about how I would get him therapy in the States. She was very kind and seemed touched and genuinely interested in my answers. Before I left, she approached me again and asked Sasha to tell me that her friend had a child with CP and did I know if there was any way for her to get treatment in the U.S. It was heartbreaking honestly. No wonder she was so curious about Jacob. I told her that sometimes there are hosting programs in the U.S., and that I would try to find something out for her. I really don’t know what is possible, but how could I say that I wouldn’t try. If anyone reading this has any ideas, please leave a comment for me. This mother kept her handicapped child against all odds and against huge pressure to abandon her in and institution. The least I can do is try to help her if I can. Once I had finished the paperwork, the bank official said that she hoped God would bless me and handed me an enormous stack of money...about $1,300. The director of Jacob’s institution (a huge teddy bear of a man) and one of the ladies who has an official position as well, but I can’t remember what, met me at the bank. He wanted me to go with him to buy supplies for the institution so that I would know that the money wasn’t wasted. I really appreciated his integrity with this, but kindly refused and handed him the money. I didn’t want to waste any time when I could be going to get Jacob. He gave me a big bear hug and wished me well. He really was such a kind and fatherly man to me during my time in the institution. <br />
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We picked up Anna, the area social worker who had to be present for Gotcha day and headed to the village. I wish I could speak the language...Anna seems like a riot of a lady. She was one of our biggest supporters in court in favor of the adoption and I just really like her. She had never done an adoption before but was willing to learn how. She saw our adoption of Jacob as his only chance for a normal life. I will always love her for this. We bumped and slide all down the road to the institution one last time. I was thankful that Viktor is such a good driver on those snowy roads. It was really a terrible day weather wise.<br />
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Once we arrived, I handed Natasha, the assistant director the gifts that I brought for the other kids, the nannies and the director and handed the main nanny the bag of clothes that I brought for Jacob. It really is like a re-birth for Jacob. He leaves naked, with not a single possession of his own. It is up to us from that point on to cloth him and feed him.<br />
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I signed a few more documents that transferred custody from the institution to me and then before I knew it, Jacob was there. He was so sleepy and seemed to be just waking up. How handsome he looked in his new little overalls and sweater. I felt like I was glowing from the inside out. He was finally ours.<br />
We posed for a few pictures and then I opened the doors and walked out with Jacob in my arms. Welcome to our world sweet baby boy.<br />
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coming soon...The train ride (It deserves its own post)Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-6585386180884075072012-02-28T05:35:00.000-08:002012-02-28T05:35:23.988-08:00Day ???: Who am I kidding, I am too jet-lagged to remember what day of the week it is!The back story...the part where I try to remember and piece together the story of how I arrived in America with one little fast moving, food loving, louder than I thought possible for a mostly non-verbal little Ukrainian boy.<br />
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Part 1: The Great "Paper-job"<br />
Monday Feb 20th: Paper-job Day<br />
One of the drivers in Kiev who works for many of the adopting families always says paper-job instead of paperwork, so we have all affectionately began to use this term. My paper-job day began at 8:30am and was not over until almost 7pm. It was long and exhausting which I found strange since most of the day I just hung out in the back seat of the car trying to keep my feet warm and reading a book on my iPod. Sasha, our facilitator ran her butt off today and I was so proud of her. She went above and beyond the call of duty to get everything done for us in a day. It started with the court making a mistake in our court decree (they put Jan 7th instead of Feb 7th as our court date.) I knew something was up when Sasha ran in and didn’t come out for what seemed like hours. Thankfully they corrected it on the spot and got us new documents. From there we seemed to drive all over the place...to the village to get documents at the institution, to the passport office to the place where they give birth certificates...everywhere! Every once in awhile, Sasha would dash and out yell, “Sarah come here!” and I would jump out, slosh through the snow, usually run up several flights of stairs and plop myself obediently in a chair outside of an office. My job this day was to do what I was told...sit where I should sit, stay where I should stay and sign whatever document they put in front of me. It was fast paced and crazy, but it brought me one step closer to getting Jacob, so I was willing to do just about anything. <br />
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It was really nice that I got along so well with Sasha and her husband Victor who was our driver. We stopped at a small cafeteria and had a Ukrainian lunch. I told Sasha to just order me whatever she was having and I would try it. It was a breaded cutlet with cheese and mushrooms on top and a side of mashed potatoes. REALLY good. We gulped it down and headed back out to the car for more running around.<br />
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Sasha had an agreement with the passport official that he would come in on his day off and issue me a one day passport for an additional fee. I was more than happy to pay it. Everywhere I went people wanted to know the same thing...why did I want to adopt this boy. No one could understand at all why I would want a child with special needs. I wanted to say that it was because his life is no less worthy than anyone else's; because I would be honored to play one small part in redeeming a child’s life; because he is so stinkin’ cute that I can’t stop kissing him even when it annoys him! I usually just said that it was because I could give him a better life in America where there are more services for special needs kids.<br />
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By the end of the day non of us could see straight. We stopped one last time to pick up some parting gifts for the director, nannies and the kids at the institution. I was so tired that I could not even count money. I finally just handed it to Sasha to count for me.<br />
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Once I was back at my apartment I just crashed. I couldn’t even eat dinner. I ate a few bites of yogurt and made a cup of tea. I just couldn’t believe that I was going to get Jacob the very next day. I had waited and planned and dreamed about it for so long. It was overwhelming. I didn’t even know how to pack. I finally forced myself to throw everything in my suitcase and then went to bed.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-85367509791428844762012-02-23T00:16:00.000-08:002012-02-23T00:17:50.319-08:00Day 37: Gotcha Day!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXXslX2Y6DcW-iR6Stemh13Hvw0CQqZLiuNjMc0Buy1P9hsYTsBwmpdjyWm_Sl6xEENvItp1yab8UDGefkKUcD2jiHwS3uLGWSPAQ2mOXvdDM3N9GY72d6YrC2j-olJi9xjaORLNuygg/s1600/IMG_5933.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPXXslX2Y6DcW-iR6Stemh13Hvw0CQqZLiuNjMc0Buy1P9hsYTsBwmpdjyWm_Sl6xEENvItp1yab8UDGefkKUcD2jiHwS3uLGWSPAQ2mOXvdDM3N9GY72d6YrC2j-olJi9xjaORLNuygg/s200/IMG_5933.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN7Bv9Va59R-ObvIRd7BXbYRKwglysbEkuJTOJcohQ5x5gf01HBea6KWVhsbOFhFYe8xJtfpPcC525MiS1NyzVotHw5rAqj_66s-YwTobn3t8qpRpD4Smg4r6RADBz_C4g-zHOpj0b6WI/s1600/IMG_5936.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN7Bv9Va59R-ObvIRd7BXbYRKwglysbEkuJTOJcohQ5x5gf01HBea6KWVhsbOFhFYe8xJtfpPcC525MiS1NyzVotHw5rAqj_66s-YwTobn3t8qpRpD4Smg4r6RADBz_C4g-zHOpj0b6WI/s200/IMG_5936.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-11576465578134826362012-02-18T09:45:00.000-08:002012-02-18T09:45:34.462-08:00Day 34: Good News!I was so much better at blogging when this journey began, but then again, the 10 day waiting period is largely the same thing over and over again. Wake up, eat breakfast, read my Bible, drive to the institution, visit with Jacob for an hour and a half, drive home, eat lunch, run errands/wash clothes/make dinner/pack for tomorrow/shower, go to bed and repeat the process all again the next day.<br />
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Yesterday Jacob was sick again and the director called to say that I couldn't visit. I was reassured that it is just a bad head cold and that they will call me if I need to get him medicine. It is still difficult to be away from him. It is hardest that I have no idea what Jacob understands. I don't know if he is worried I'm not coming back, whether or not he understands what a Mama and Daddy is, if he even has a concept of time or the world outside of the institution. <br />
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Tonight brought relief from the monotony in the form of very good news. I just got a call from our facilitator telling me that she will be able to get us an expedited passport for Jacob. Originally we thought it would take a week to get this, but now it is only going to take one day! Praise the Lord! <br />
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On Monday I will hit the ground running. I will go to get Jacob's birth certificate and identification card so that I can apply for his passport. On Tuesday I will pick up his passport and close out his bank account (all orphans are given a small stipend by the government) which I will donate back to the institution to help them with various needs for the remaining children there. On Wednesday I will shop for a stroller and a few last minute items that I need to travel and no Wednesday evening I hope to take Jacob out of the institution for the last time. Then I will get on an overnight train with him to Kiev. Once in Kiev I will have embassy appointments for 2 days and hopefully fly home on Saturday.<br />
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I can hardly believe that this is happening. It is like I thought I was having braxton hicks and suddenly realized that I am in labor and about to deliver! It is a wild ride for sure!<br />
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I am praying that Jacob will feel comforted and safe with me while he goes through so much transition.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-18670351840717020942012-02-16T10:03:00.000-08:002012-02-16T10:03:08.202-08:00Day 32: Taking boredom to whole new heightsToday I had an unexpected free day...the director of Jacob's institution called to say that I was not able to visit today because he is sick. It seems odd to me that his mother can't visit him when he is sick, but we are not playing by my rules yet. <br />
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I found myself all dressed up with no where to go. I got the call in the stairwell of my apartment building, heading down to meet my driver. I trudged back up the stair to drop off Jacob's backpack of toys that I bring everyday and sat down to make a plan. There really is not much you can do here except eat or have coffee. I had just finished breakfast, which included a cup of coffee, so I was at a loss for how to keep myself occupied. So, I decided to brave the bus system by myself. (I had taken it before with Brad when he was here but never alone.) It was a lot easier that I expected it to be. I got off in the city center right by my old apartment. There is a long walking street that is full of shopping and is just a nice place for a stroll, even if it is still very snowy and slushy out.<br />
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I stopped in a store called Gloria Jeans (not to be confused with the coffee shop in the States) and bought a few pairs of fleece pants and some long sleeve t-shirts for Jacob. I can't believe that he is 5 years old and is wear a 2T in pants and 3T in shirts! <br />
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The rest of my day was just filled with facebook, tv shows on my computer, washing laundry, doing the dishes, wandering around my apartment, taking a long bath. Then I wandered around my apartment some more, looked at facebook again, cooked pancakes for dinner (really pretty to look at but not great tasting because I had to make then with baking soda instead of baking powder) and then washed more dishes. Then more tv shows on my computer...in other words, boredom. Lots and lots of boredom.<br />
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I am praying that Jacob is well tomorrow and that I can visit with him. I will not be able to visit with him over the weekend since I am not allowed on the weekends, and then I have a ton of appointments on Monday to get necessary paperwork completed, so no visit on that day either. Hoping to get one more visit in so that I don't have to go so long without seeing him.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-33925046471189732662012-02-15T04:13:00.000-08:002012-02-15T05:37:35.459-08:00Day 31: Don't forget the hankyToday was my most unusual visit to date. Not in a bad way, just in a "I have no idea what is going on" kind of way.<br />
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I made my way to the visitation room and Jacob's nanny brought him too me. This nanny is a wonderfully plump grandmother type with not very many teeth, but the teeth she has managed to hang onto are capped with gold. I like to try to make her smile. She holds Jacob's hands and slowly walks him to me...I think she wants me to see what he can do. <br />
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No sooner had I closed the door and settled in with Jacob then the door popped open and one of the more official looking nannies (maybe a doctor or nurse, who knows) pantomimed that I should use the cute little hanky they sent with Jacob to wipe his nose. He is really stuffy and congested so I had a supply of tissues anyway. <br />
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She must have had serious doubts about my ability to stay on top of this very important job, because not 5 minutes later, she rushed in, grabbed the hanky, wiped his nose and then left again. I thought to myself, "well that was odd" and then went on to get Jacbo's snack out.<br />
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Jacob and I hung out, had his snack, rolled around on the floor, played with his car, played with his spinning penguin top...the normal stuff. What was not normal was that someone stuck their head in the door to check on us every 5 minutes. One time I was in the process of wiping his nose and they were very approving of that!<br />
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It was a very good visit in spite of the odd behavior of the nannies. He was very cuddly and was brave enough to look me in the eye for about 10 seconds. I was in heaven!<br />
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About 30 minutes early, the nanny who speak about 2 words of English came in and said my time was up. I was a little confused and so was Jacob, but I kissed him and told him I would see him tomorrow. I think they just got tired of checking on me or maybe I wasn't wiping his nose correctly. Who knows. I am just glad I got to hang out with him. <br />
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After I left the institution I went to a grocery story...one I didn't even know existed here. It was like a super Walmart except not as many clothes. It was so big I was overwhelmed and couldn't think what I had come in for! My driver took me there because it was closer to my new apartment than the store I am used to and I also needed to change more money. I needed to buy eggs and bread also. The eggs are sold in a giant bin where you just pick them out and carefully place them in a plastic bag. I wasn't certain if I had to weigh them before I got to the check out counter, so I followed some poor lady all over the store to see what she did with her eggs. Apparently you don't have to weigh them first. :) All other produce has to be weighed first at a little weighing station near the produce section. This is odd for most Americans but very common everywhere we have lived overseas.<br />
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Hopefully Jacob will be better tomorrow and we can get back to our normal visiting routine. I bought him an apple for snack tomorrow as a treat.<br />
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(Almost got him to look at the camera, but not quite!) ;)Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-43532518810018074542012-02-14T03:27:00.000-08:002012-02-14T03:27:41.162-08:00Day 30: My Snowy ValentineToday is Valentine's Day. I LOVE Valentine's Day! As if that wasn't enough...it's snowing! I LOVE snow! Big fluffy snowflakes and about 6 inches on the ground. <br />
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Brad left me a box of Valentine's chocolates since I wouldn't be home to celebrate with him and the kids. I put it on the kitchen table last night to "surprise" myself when I woke up. Sappy and sentimental, I know. <br />
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Jacob was happy to provide my workout today so that I can eat my chocolate guilt free. My poor baby has a cold. He sniffled and snorted through his banana snack. His little nose is so congested. He got a lot of extra love and attention today. He was understandably a little out of sorts. We rocked and danced and jumped and twirled and tossed in the air and swung around and FINALLY settled down long enough to listen to some classical music. It was very difficult to give him back to the nanny today when I really want to take him home and put him in a steamy shower and make him hot lemonade and give him all the attention a sick little boy needs.<br />
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I tried to get a picture of the two of us, but all of them were blurry. It's difficult to get a good picture with just me alone with Jacob. He likes to dive head first off the sofa so unless he is very still and very occupied, I can't have my hands full with the camera. Here's the best of what I got today.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK-Kw6rpbxGGKYF87OfILvzjIbaWrkN1NQM2RbKI-EOJGw4el5bBtGSccp6qQsr8uSxPeGmQ-q3VT2LVXyErD0hghu0v_jNscZ68n20vh9BRGt2MgVTWxcgHWYTuT8ud91WMGJScydwxw/s1600/IMG_5896.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK-Kw6rpbxGGKYF87OfILvzjIbaWrkN1NQM2RbKI-EOJGw4el5bBtGSccp6qQsr8uSxPeGmQ-q3VT2LVXyErD0hghu0v_jNscZ68n20vh9BRGt2MgVTWxcgHWYTuT8ud91WMGJScydwxw/s200/IMG_5896.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-30211072780643287302012-02-13T04:35:00.000-08:002012-02-13T04:35:24.847-08:00Day 29: Moving DayToday I woke up bright and early and packed my last few things to move to a new apartment. I got a call last night that I would have to move today. I don't understand all of the reasons that I had to move, but know that this is Ukraine, and things just work different here. I just roll with things as they come here. I am only a few miles away from my first apartment and it is actually a lot more homey and comfortable than the first apartment. The area is mainly families and so it is quieter and safer feeling. I never felt unsafe at the other apartment, this one has families and neighbors nearby if anything goes wrong. I looked like a bag lady while I move in since I packed in one large suitcase and six grocery bags. :)<br />
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I dropped my things off and got settled for just a minute and then left for my visit with Jacob. Our facilitator, Sasha went with me today and it was nice to have someone to chat with. Jacob knows Sasha from the babyhouse (where he was before he was transferred to the institution) and he seemed relaxed and happy that she was there. He was very calm today and liked to play quietly with his toys on the floor. It feels like he is getting more and more comfortable with me and is responding more to English. I try to repeat the same short English phrases each visit so that he can begin to learn. He is also signing "more" without prompting now when I don't move fast enough with the next bite of his snack.<br />
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Each day the visits feel shorter and shorter but I know soon that he will be all mine so I try to be patient. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihRBAv4i6EVuEISbzzmlByq9VLrMkuReKUQ_el0LCx2fQyDli3gRNlqJ2FqmTS9pBqxpi387FL_zWzJoEKHZa2QrZPkFypCrPmDjb0inrEnA4uQVc48FLqEgkgMMFdE54ysPPIUuQpnWM/s1600/IMG_5875.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihRBAv4i6EVuEISbzzmlByq9VLrMkuReKUQ_el0LCx2fQyDli3gRNlqJ2FqmTS9pBqxpi387FL_zWzJoEKHZa2QrZPkFypCrPmDjb0inrEnA4uQVc48FLqEgkgMMFdE54ysPPIUuQpnWM/s200/IMG_5875.JPG" /></a></div><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg30R_6EfzRn63K71gbf5mXBtq8mPZtXAIxi_JvwZgPJod9XpkUuvZqvj0k_PFxh2zBItLrhjWR40nDHrTnqSD3VWImG-DDAOAErB3YvWsfSHKRR_c4_ITRtneiGo0GGjUkYi3u1WGvHH0/s1600/IMG_5874.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg30R_6EfzRn63K71gbf5mXBtq8mPZtXAIxi_JvwZgPJod9XpkUuvZqvj0k_PFxh2zBItLrhjWR40nDHrTnqSD3VWImG-DDAOAErB3YvWsfSHKRR_c4_ITRtneiGo0GGjUkYi3u1WGvHH0/s200/IMG_5874.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-46872437135042587982012-02-10T02:38:00.000-08:002012-02-10T02:38:51.013-08:00Day 26: We're serious about our food!Our whole family loves to eat. You would never guess that by looking at us, but we even plan our vacations around what cool new food or dessert we get to try.<br />
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Apparently Jacob will fit right in. I brought him a banana today and at first had a difficult time convincing him to let me peel it. he wanted to just take a big bite, peel and all. I wonder if he had just never seen an unpeeled banana before because he began to cry and pitch a fit when I threw away the peel and wouldn't let him eat it. This is the first time we have heard him cry at all! I was afraid I would have an entire troop of nannies descend on the room to find out what I did to him, so I distracted him by swinging him really high in my arms. This worked for a few minutes and then I was exhausted and Jacob remembered that he was still hungry.<br />
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Thankfully, I have been carrying around a granola bar in my purse for weeks. I hesitated to give it to him because it is sticky and has peanuts. A few more high pitched screams from Jacob were enough to make me forget all my fears and whip out that granola bar. Everything here has hazel nuts in it so surely he's not allergic to peanuts, right? <br />
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He was in heaven. The boy LOVES to eat! He started to get full and slow down as we got to the end of the granola bar and Jacob and I both sighed in relief.<br />
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After that, he climbed down like a little gentleman and we played "wet-wipes-out-of- the-bag/wet-wipes-back-in-the-bag" for the rest of the visit. <br />
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I can't wait to have him home where I can just relax and enjoy him!Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-79160415630233979632012-02-09T06:51:00.000-08:002012-02-09T12:21:40.455-08:00Day 25: Letting their hair downBefore Brad left for the States, we wondered if I would be treated differently by the institution staff once it was just me. Most of the workers are women and they tended to be very formal around Brad. We would be ushered into our tiny visitation room and the door would be closed. We were never allowed to see any of the other kids.<br />
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Today, everyone just let their hair down. No one escorted me to the room, and the door was left open. There were groups of teenage-ish boys who would stop by the doorway and day hi to me. There were lots of little boys being wheeled to different rooms in wheel chairs. Just lots of hustle and bustle and activity that we are normally not allowed to see. While I was visiting with Jacob several new nannies popped in. I think they just wanted to see me. :) When I was leaving a completely new nanny that I had never seen before came to get him for lunch. She actually looked like she was the lunch lady.<br />
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I was worried that Jacob might not like having just Mama visiting him with out Daddy since Daddy is so much for animated and fun. I have loved seeing Brad be the first man in Jacob's life. There have been other women who have cared for him, but Brad is most likely the first man. He loves to be tossed around and given rides on Brad's shoulders. Today was different for sure without Daddy...we both missed him. It was a very sweet visit though. After eating his snack, Jacob and I just played and sat calmly together. He got a little anxious in the middle of the visit and I scooped him up and pretended to drop him. He loved this game!! He would just belly laugh. I would have done it all day, but he is one heavy little guy to toss around.<br />
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He is getting more and more comfortable with me as each day goes by. Usually he plays and we try to encourage him to play with us and not just near us. Today was a lot more of a victory with this. We did a repeat of the wipes in the ziplock game, but we also played cars for a minute and he let me hold him in my lap and "read" to him from a Ukrainian story book. He sat and looked at books for a long time today. It is obvious that someone in the baby house used to read to him. He turns each page and looks at it before moving on.<br />
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I am wanting to start the countdown to when I can get him out of the institution but right now I am not sure how they count the days for the waiting period. Do they start with the court day? Are weekends included? What about the time it takes to get his passport? Lots of unknowns right now. I am just hoping that it flies by and that we are both home before we know it.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVWIsM3ZlSGPVvUwv3RTPyKSqOXW7s8piusns6yO9KWzwbWBAK3mKFrJVFYjqMCmif51SM3y1V3zG1yvPnHO5PrYdg9KwMTfdqEEnopO5tTsKctEePnOA3HPSjMComne5z8ZNWRwxr5HQ/s1600/IMG_5854.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVWIsM3ZlSGPVvUwv3RTPyKSqOXW7s8piusns6yO9KWzwbWBAK3mKFrJVFYjqMCmif51SM3y1V3zG1yvPnHO5PrYdg9KwMTfdqEEnopO5tTsKctEePnOA3HPSjMComne5z8ZNWRwxr5HQ/s200/IMG_5854.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-2642979060968790112012-02-08T10:22:00.000-08:002012-02-08T10:22:45.998-08:00Day 24: New BeginningToday's visit with Jacob was the first time we saw him after becoming his Mama and Daddy. It felt different...even Jacob seemed to sense the difference. There was a relief and a letting down of out guard. We could just enjoy him without worrying that something would go wrong and the judge would rule against us.<br />
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Today was also the last day that Brad will see Jacob in Ukraine. The next time Jacob will see his Daddy will be in The U.S. Brad left tonight and is traveling by overnight train to Kiev. He will fill out an embassy form tomorrow and will then fly out on Friday morning. It was hard for all of us to say goodbye. Jacob didn't understand and I hope he will adjust well to just me going to visit him each day.<br />
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Today was one of the best days we have had with Jacob to date. He pulled out all the stops today...I like to think that he wanted his Daddy to see all the things he can do before he left. He was much more engaging with us and kept hugging Brad really tight. He explored all around the room and even opened storage cabinets under the coffee table and climbed in. He normally does not notice much of the environment, partly because one of the side effects of the medication he is on is light sensitivity. (We understand now why he keeps his eyes closed a lot in the bright room.) <br />
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He pulled out the wet wipes I keep in a ziplock bag and pulled them all out and handed too me. I would refill it and give it back and he would pull them all out an hand them to me again. This was HUGE for Jacob to interact with me like that. He even recognized me as someone who could help him and handed me the bag when he couldn't get it unzipped. Up until this point he only relied on his own ability and then gave up if it was too difficult.<br />
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He was talking more today too. I thought he was done with his snack and put it on top of the coat cabinet and he pulled up on the cabinet next to me and yelled, "Mama!" Like "come on Mama, get with the program, why are you putting that away when I clearly wasn't done with it!" :) <br />
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The icing on the cake though was Jacob's first English word. "more"<br />
We taught him to say it is sign language when we are feeding him his snack and today after Brad said, "say more," Jacob up and said it! Forgot this signing stuff...our boy is itching to talk. :)<br />
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By the end of the visit he was wiped out and laid down and rested until the nanny came and said it was time to go. He had worked hard today.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-41536119802122509562012-02-07T11:40:00.000-08:002012-02-07T11:40:25.968-08:00Court DayJacob Aaron Wall officially became our son today. <br />
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We are too busy celebrating to write a proper post but I promise more details will follow. :)Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-71229596512231617842012-02-03T13:18:00.000-08:002012-02-03T13:25:45.974-08:00Day 19: We've Come So Far, But Still Have So Far To GoToday was one of those days that leave you amazed and yet still dissatisfied. Jacob has come so far. He is playing with toys in an appropriate way. He has learned to say 'More' in sign language and does this without prompting. He knows where all of the 'goodies' come from and is not shy about going looking for them. Today, he even interacted with me (Brad) by putting a hat on my head and taking it off again, and again, and again. He has come so far. <br />
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Then we see how far we have to go and how little interaction our little boy has had during his life. Jacob still struggles to make any eye contact with us. He still stims to soothe himself, not knowing how to receive love, care, and comfort from another human being. We noticed how often he turns away from us to play (our presence is too much for him), but today we saw just how badly our little boy wants to block out the world. We brought a winter hat for him to see if it would fit. It is WAY too big, and completely covers his face. He LOVED it, and would spend long periods of time pulling the hat over his eyes and soothing himself by rocking on his knees. Right now, he prefers darkness and loneliness to interaction with people. <br />
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We were encouraged by reading some information online from a Doctor who specializes in children adopted from institutions. He said it is the norm for children raised in institutions not to talk. They have never been interacted with, and do not learn to vocalize. It is normal for them to rock back and forth and seek any kind of stimulation they can find. These behaviors usually mean that the child is depressed and bored, and trying to cope with life in an institution. It was encouraging to read that these behaviors usually disappear quite rapidly after adoption. We have seen a dramatic decrease in Jacobs stimming over the last few days. We long for the day that he comes to us to soothe him when he is anxious.<br />
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And then, we are reminded that we need to love and enjoy Jacob just for who he is, and celebrate with him for where he is now. It is a difficult place to be. . . hoping for more for him, and yet accepting and enjoying where we are at this point.<br />
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"Jacob, we love you so much. We keep catching glimpses of the happy-go-lucky kid inside of you. We believe in you, and we love being able to watch you risk, and try, and learn to trust us. You are such a smart, and resilient boy! We can't wait to see what you choose to do with your life! We will be here for you, no matter what!"Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-67904603908253942122012-02-02T09:08:00.000-08:002012-02-02T09:08:04.323-08:00Day 18: A little offToday was just one of those days where everything is a little off...the kind where you just need a reset button. We woke up just a little grumpy and rushed to get out the door. We forgot almost everything we normally take to our visits with Jacob...no camera, no Ipod, no crackers, no diapers. We thankfully remembered his toys, a banana and his water. (No pictures today due to the forgotten camera.)<br />
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When we arrived, they brought him too us before we even had a chance to take our coats off. I am hanging on to Jacob with one arm while trying to shake my coat off with the other hand. Jacob was agitated and didn't want to be held. He normally hugs us tight and just lays his chin on our shoulder when he first sees us. Not for long, but it is still his normal greeting. He pushed away and climbed all over the room. Up and down the sofa. Over the chairs and across the end table. In and out of the play pen. Content to play for just a moment and then shrieking and climbing some more. He wasn't mad exactly, but more disconnected from us and more difficult to soothe. Finally I had a light bulb mama instinct moment and realized that he might be hungry. When all else fails, try feeding them. This might not be the most psychologically correct parenting advice, but it has been my mantra for years. I scooped him up and gave him a banana which he devoured. I thought he would be satisfied, but then he proceeded to unpack the bag we always bring and turn it over and over in his hands. He would search every corner and then search again. Our poor baby was so hungry and we didn't have anything left to give him. We distracted him the best we could, but he practically leaped into his nannies arms when she arrived to take him to lunch.<br />
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We will never know exactly why Jacob was so hungry today, but we suspect that his nannies did not feed him prior to our visit in an effort to keep his diaper clean today. I have his bag packed and ready to go for tomorrow's visit and I am bringing enough food to thoroughly ruin his appetite for lunch.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-50214884844605154952012-02-01T06:42:00.000-08:002012-02-01T12:54:51.981-08:00Day 16 and 17: Too busy cooking to blogMost days I sit down and blog right when I get home from our visit with Jacob. Yesterday, I needed to feel like a real person with a real schedule so I skipped the blogging and set out to create a Mexican dinner. I learned from my time overseas in Indonesia that ANYTHING can be made from scratch if you are willing to put in the time and effort. One Christmas I made homemade marshmallows to go in chocolate fudge just to see if it could be done.<br />
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Last nights dinner was not on the scale of making homemade marshmallows, but it did take a little more prep than just our normal omelet dinner. We made flour tortillas with caramelized onion and garlic pulled chicken. We even found an avocado for guacamole. It turned out to be really delicious. You never know when you are trying new cooking experiments. Our friends who are also adopting stopped by and brought the most wonderful strawberry layer cake to complete our feast. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Mi5XylgtMvk8josW9QFxOzQt754nSwbfRHNHuzLxvWfRvCtnzxcIjVTcPs3WHrqV_1eck3ohTQNVAIZkJekQmhI4ovU_UY_w2tJRRyN6Nlr47NYejy8MNFwBRxuzdbh46SW8xXlWygo/s1600/IMG_5781.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="200" width="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9Mi5XylgtMvk8josW9QFxOzQt754nSwbfRHNHuzLxvWfRvCtnzxcIjVTcPs3WHrqV_1eck3ohTQNVAIZkJekQmhI4ovU_UY_w2tJRRyN6Nlr47NYejy8MNFwBRxuzdbh46SW8xXlWygo/s200/IMG_5781.jpg" /></a></div>(Kneading the tortillas dough. I had to sit on the kitchen floor because the counter were too high for me to reach properly.)<br />
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Each day that we visit with Jacob is intense: intensely wonderful to see him and delight in the progress we see each day and intensely heart-wrenching to realize just how far behind developmentally he is because of his environment. <br />
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When they bring him to us he has the glazed over shell shocked look that we have started to think of as the institution look. After a few minutes and a very helpful bag of toys and snacks, he begins to relax and smile and play. Yesterday he ate almost an entire apple off the core and was so obviously thrilled that we let him have the apple and his water anytime he wanted. I was glad that he is well fed enough that we are not seeing hoarding behavior, but it is obvious that he has no control over his own life. Elijah and Anna can get a healthy snack any time they want it without having to ask. Jacob has never had that option and it makes me sad when I remember that even if emotionally and socially he is not yet 5 years old, that chronologically he IS 5 years old.<br />
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Today, we realized that giving Jacob almost the entire apple was maybe not the best idea. About 5 minutes after feeding him today he pooped. No big deal, we changed his diaper with the one I always bring with me for him. Not 10 minutes later, he pooped again. We called his nannies over and they took him and changed him. They told us through lots of pantomiming and a little broken English that they did not have any more diapers so he was just in regular clothes. I was a little concerned but though, well he has already pooped twice, surely he can't poop again!<br />
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I was wrong.<br />
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About 10 minutes later he pooped again and this time we had to tell him goodbye and that we would see him tomorrow since our visit was almost up and cleaning him up would take much longer this time.<br />
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I was encouraged that the nannies hold him gently and take him without complaint. He wasn't scolded that we could hear. I stood out in the hallway and listened just in case.<br />
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What we did see after his nannies changed him and brought him back was the effect of social and emotional neglect. We always thought that he was a little dazed and glassy eyed when they brought him to us in the morning because of the sedatives. But today, he had that same look when they brought him back after the diaper change and he was only gone for about 5 minutes. He took a few minutes to warm back up to us too. He lets his guard down with us (not all the way, but better each day) and just emotionally shuts down when he goes back to his room. Its heartbreaking to see.<br />
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Children simply can not thrive and develop without emotional connection and love. Jacob braces himself against the emotionally cold environment he is in, even though all his physical needs are met perfectly. He even smells good from his bath when we get him. His physical needs are met in a way that is very surprising for an institutional setting. He is regressed and almost infantile in some ways simply from a lack of love. <br />
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I wish that I could explain to him how much his little life is about to change. He will have love in spades. We will love him, his brother and sister will love him, he has grandparents and more cousins, aunts and uncles than he can count who will love him. Only a few more short weeks sweet Jacob! <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWLKmQR3BnQcDsk6nqQ9iQth7NOtNBfOdVslUYWdPMlo3439A6udf7jlX_iCsl2cYa57cV_CYVHPuesxMSusTQTQ8VxuNs9YhEYdY-EqUB-k1Eo0olVYmP6LO6H-6hRJHRFintRdxHbWY/s1600/IMG_5785.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWLKmQR3BnQcDsk6nqQ9iQth7NOtNBfOdVslUYWdPMlo3439A6udf7jlX_iCsl2cYa57cV_CYVHPuesxMSusTQTQ8VxuNs9YhEYdY-EqUB-k1Eo0olVYmP6LO6H-6hRJHRFintRdxHbWY/s200/IMG_5785.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-49244767076532126742012-01-30T07:04:00.000-08:002012-01-30T07:04:24.823-08:00Day 15: Content to WaitToday was the first day that the wait until Jacob is officially our son began to feel long. We wear the same clothes; and Jacob wears the same clothes, and we visit for one hour in the same room with the same toys, day after day. Don't get me wrong, we are thankful for our visits with him and for the tiny changes we see in him each time we are with him, but we just want to have him home. For just a second today, he hugged me tight after we had been gone for two days. We were all happy to see each other. Then my closeness is too much for him and he wiggles to be put down and scoots away.<br />
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I can only imagine how challenging the transition will be for Jacob. Everything about us is different than he is used to. Even our love for him is alarming to him at times. We are anxious to have him home. <br />
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Usually he is all about mama, but today he got a lot of Daddy time. Brad was the one with the snack today and the cool zip front sweater that was irresistible to Jacob, and the bottle of bubbles. What kid doesn't like bubbles?!<br />
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Nothing holds his attention very long, but each time we visit he is more and more interested in us and what we are doing. He is learning to trust us and realizing that we offer love and security...and snacks. :)<br />
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Each day we are able to visit we bring the same three toys in the same bag. A stuffed puppy, a photo album of our family, and a dinosaur coloring book. Jacob is especially attached to the coloring book. He uses his hands to scoot around so he holds his book in his teeth. That is one smart boy! Way to problem solve Jacob! We also keep a bottle of water and a snack in the bag for him. We are pretty certain he said "water" today in Russian. :) He is now diving into the bag when we set it down. When we first met him he showed no curiosity for us or anything around him. We are now beginning to see him take timid little peaks around the room to see what we brought. <br />
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Like any little boy, he is curious about how things work. He was very intrigued with the zipper on Brad's sweater...enough to crawl on top of Brad to try it for himself.<br />
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He almost completely unlaced my boots when he realized the laces could be untied.<br />
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It will be wonderful to have him outside of the tiny visitor's room where he can explore and learn to his hearts content.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-78577709880887871922012-01-29T06:42:00.000-08:002012-01-29T06:46:59.881-08:00Day 13 and 14: Catching UpOn the weekends we are not allowed to visit with Jacob. :( We have asked multiple times and each time the answer is the same...No. One time they told us we couldn't because the doors were locked. We think something must have been lost in translation with that one.<br />
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On the weekends we try to catch up...catch up on sleep, on eating real meals, exploring the city, etc...<br />
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Yesterday, we mostly caught up on sleep. The stress of a different culture and language and visiting Jacob really wears us out. We both slept over 10 hours yesterday.<br />
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Today, we set out to have an adventure. Brad is an adventure junkie and I am a willing side kick. He found a Chinese restaurant online that he thought we should try for lunch. I ate a small snack before we set out because I wasn't convinced this was going to end with either us actually finding the restaurant or us being able to order anything that we would find edible.<br />
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The restaurant was actually really easy to find. It was about a 10-15 minute walk from our apartment. We race walked all the way there since it is only 19 degrees outside right now and even with the 4 layers of clothing we had on under our coats, it was still REALLY cold! The building was bright red in a sea of grey buildings, so that made it hard to miss.<br />
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Once inside, it looked promising. We sat on the red loveseats that they used instead of chairs and the waiter handed us a menu. There were thankfully small pictures, but absolutely no English. I found the word for "chicken" in the translation app on Brad's Iphone and we started scanning the menu for the first three Cyrillic letters in the world "chicken". I figured I would just point to what ever I found that was chicken and I would be mostly safe.<br />
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The waitress arrived and actually spoke about 5 words of English. We pointed to the chicken we had found and also at something that looked like spareribs. We ordered rice and tea also since these words are almost the same in Russian. When the food came it was actually sweet and sour chicken with peanuts and friend rice. <br />
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Besides being a little oily, it was wonderful. The spareribs were okay, but tasted very Ukrainian and not at all like Chinese food. Not terrible, but I wouldn't get them again. The odd thing to us was they brought us a plate of bread to go with our food. I guess it really is true that no Ukrainian meal is complete without bread, even if it is a Chinese meal.<br />
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We race walked back to our apartment with a quick detour into our favorite grocery store to buy chocolate and a cherry jellyroll (tastes a little like a rolled up pancake with sweet cherry jam) and then back home. It might take the rest of the day to thaw ourselves out from the cold, but it was worth it in the end.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUmX5SC_hUrsQ3f4-nKpDKj1waZR32RxF2r82fdrxAjQdApTWMG9geC772ThqzMBkydJmrxYpkq2ll0ZrUZSlRwFlGbQAjGIWdPT5nqq2vZUD96qo3aOTQgX6SVL1Xs4Ojf8DKE7leaM/s1600/IMG_5754.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCUmX5SC_hUrsQ3f4-nKpDKj1waZR32RxF2r82fdrxAjQdApTWMG9geC772ThqzMBkydJmrxYpkq2ll0ZrUZSlRwFlGbQAjGIWdPT5nqq2vZUD96qo3aOTQgX6SVL1Xs4Ojf8DKE7leaM/s200/IMG_5754.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-80688324293732795322012-01-27T10:57:00.000-08:002012-01-27T10:57:46.334-08:00Day 12: Our 7th day with JacobWhat a difference a week makes. We met this boy 7 visits ago. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwF5THMzbDW8t08oI13bAgqjzhx71Md8Olp6N4wkQhNqMkAi90cspoMJ-qNvgG3vhvfiBs-qygMShiIFtj0jNpJMYN0I1okJJXEukqiCMjSDshNu7dfWTnGPTt1-LDkwedJ6rhg340lE4/s1600/IMG_5582.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="200" width="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwF5THMzbDW8t08oI13bAgqjzhx71Md8Olp6N4wkQhNqMkAi90cspoMJ-qNvgG3vhvfiBs-qygMShiIFtj0jNpJMYN0I1okJJXEukqiCMjSDshNu7dfWTnGPTt1-LDkwedJ6rhg340lE4/s200/IMG_5582.jpg" /></a></div><br />
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This is Jacob eating a snack today.<br />
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<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/btcSs7KQ0mU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-38366088124272461842012-01-26T07:40:00.000-08:002012-01-26T07:40:22.402-08:00Day 11: The way to Jacob's heartWhat warms Jacob's heart like nothing else...Teddygrahams.<br />
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Who would have thought I would be so thankful that the pack of teddygrahams that I impulsively bought at the airport on the way here would come in so handy. Jacob is tiny in stature but does not appear to be malnourished so we have not been giving him many snacks. We are the first family to ever adopt a child from his institution so we are being very careful not to rock the boat. We didn't want to stuff him with snacks so that we wouldn't eat his lunch, but have realized that these little bears get his attention like nothing else.<br />
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I have been feeding him a few at a time and hold them right up to my face so that he will look into my eyes. When he does we cheer for him and hand him the cookie. He caught on immediately. :) <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR5NZx-NbowoSZLy1NB69kF3xyn6Uast1fNyIZ5qZCifxHNz173PrlTt7eB7yux5qHH3K6JP_sjSgzLHktSPEpRQ_5Pwla56l5MyXCEMdqlVfbT5uQQCue_q4Kh_ZNtoBGU35x2O5zQAQ/s1600/IMG_5736.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR5NZx-NbowoSZLy1NB69kF3xyn6Uast1fNyIZ5qZCifxHNz173PrlTt7eB7yux5qHH3K6JP_sjSgzLHktSPEpRQ_5Pwla56l5MyXCEMdqlVfbT5uQQCue_q4Kh_ZNtoBGU35x2O5zQAQ/s200/IMG_5736.JPG" /></a></div>Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6471583393346450862.post-37588631469548910662012-01-25T06:32:00.000-08:002012-01-26T04:38:56.171-08:00Day 10: Letting us love himEach day on the 35 minute drive to the institution I am able to pray and listen to praise music on my Ipod. I have started to look forward to this brief moment of peace before our day begins.<br />
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We are driving through the most beautiful countryside. It is not lush and vibrant, but it is a quiet sort of beautiful. Vast open snow covered fields as far as the eye can see with rows of Swedish aspens lining either side of the road. All at once it will surprise you with a flock or bright yellow meadow larks or green pheasants. Breathtaking.<br />
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Jacob is kind of like this landscape. Beautiful with lots of hidden surprises. It is heartbreaking that no one has noticed what treasures this child holds. He is not talked to or delighted in. Until now. <br />
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When I first began the process of adoption, especially international adoption of an institutionalized child with special needs, I could not fully grasp what it meant to be "rescuing a child." I heard others talk about international special needs adoption and use language like that when describing their experiences, but I didn't understand. Now I do.<br />
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No one talks to my beautiful boy. The injustice of it brings tears to our eyes and sets our jaws in anger. He is very well cared for physically, but no one loves him. Just the simple lack of love has taken a lively active child and made him afraid to open his eyes and look at anyone. He stopped talking and walking. He just gave up.<br />
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Today was a flock of yellow meadow larks and green pheasants kind of day with Jacob. He was calmer and leaned into us when he held him. He uttered an annoyed "Mama!" when I wouldn't get out of his way. This is a far cry form the drooling unresponsive child they brought to us the first day. We hugged him and kissed him and held him and told him that we love him and that God loves him. It might be the first time he has ever heard those words. As the nanny rushed in abruptly and scooped him out of my arms saying "Times up!" Brad rushed forward with his phone and played the Russian recording we made. "I will see you tomorrow." Jacob looked at us over his nanny's shoulder and waved. <br />
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Love is truly rescuing Jacob and transforming him into a different boy.Brad, Sara, Elijah, Anna and Jacobhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08945587665649023544noreply@blogger.com1