Monday, March 26, 2012

Left Behind

I cannot recall our own journey home with Jacob without being haunted by the ones that we left behind. At Jacob's institution, the workers tried to keep us hidden from the other children. They guarded the doors when the kids walked by in the hallway. They even gently closed the door in my face when I was watching the boys pass by in front of the visitation room. At first I thought that they had something to hide. Were they mistreating the kids? Was there atrocities that they didn't want people on the outside to see? This just didn't seem to be the case. The older and more physically able boys were clean, well mannered and well fed. They even had art and music classes for them. Yes, their methods could be archaic and there was a understanding of the potential of differently-abled children that was about 50 years behind the times, but they genuinely seemed to care about the childlren. Then why all the secrecy?

I found out on the day of our court hearing. The two social workers gathered around me while we waited. Brad was sitting across the room since there was not room to sit right next to me. The ladies saw this as their opportunity to ask all the things they had wondered about me. My facilitator translated questions about what we eat, where we live, would our other kids be jealous, would Jacob ever walk? Their curiosity finally satisfied, the social worker from the institution told me through our translator that the other kids were very sad and upset that Jacob now had a mama and a daddy and they didn't.

"Why does he get a Mama and he is only 5 yrs old and I am 10 yrs old?"

They had been waiting so long and had given up hope and now miraculously, one of them had a mama and daddy show up. Could it happen to them? Why hadn't it already happened to them? Was their mama and daddy still out there somewhere and coming?

How can anyone possibly answer these questions? It feels like a crushing weight on my heart to just hear the questions, much less ponder the answers.

"You will probably never have a mama and daddy sweet child. There is no one coming."

How can we take away their hope like this? So no one answers them. The nannies hide us away from the kids and try to distract them from their sadness. After this I hide myself away too so that I don't contribute to their grief.

There are SO many orphans.

There are so many that are available for adoption and have people who desperately want to go rescue them but can't because, let's be honest, who has $24,000 just lying around?

Take a look at the pictures and see if maybe you see your son or daughter staring back at you. See if you feel moved to contribute to their grants to help their mama and daddy afford the up front costs.

This is Heath...he is 10 years old and has a family that wants him and would go tomorrow if they had the money.

This little guy is Brandon...he is 6 years old and will be transferred out of his baby house any day now to a mental institution.

This is Laurel...she has expressed her yearnings for a family to another adoptive parent. In about 6 months she will be 16 years old and will no longer be eligible for adoption. There are families that want to go get her but can't because of the lack of funding.

There are so many others. You can find out more about them or donate to their adoption grants at Reece's Rainbow website.

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