We had our second visit today and we were brought into what looks like a little family visiting room. (Some of the kids still have family that come to see them.) They brought our son to us and he was still asleep. They handed him to me and it is so sweet that he just holds on and settles in. He is really a cuddly kid. He likes hugs and squeezes. :) I held him first and then let Brad hold him. We were thankful that they left us alone with him for just a minute. The nanny told us that he loves music and singing so we started singing "Eight Days a Week" to him. Anna has a school program where her class will be singing this so it is perpetually stuck in our heads!
The minute I started singing, his eyes flew open and he seemed jolted awake for just a second. It was so cute! We were able to catch a lot of it on video. He is still VERY sedated, but we were able to catch little glimpses of the old Easton peaking through. He still won't make any eye contact at all, but will regulate himself to our actions. If we rock him and stop then he will push on us to get us to keep rocking. Or if Brad only sang as long as Easton held Brad's hands and clapped them, then Easton would keep clapping. He is a smart cookie under all those drugs!
A teacher/nanny who spoke about 5 words of English came and sat with us to observe. She was able to give us a little more information about his schedule of eating and sleeping. She was really surprised that Easton did not cry around us and was even laughing some when Brad would rock him backwards by his little feet. The director, a doctor and we think the regional social worker checked on us and made the comment that we looked like a family and that Easton seemed so happy with us. It was nice to hear but made me sad that they find it so unusual.
I am having a lot of mixed feeling about the director and the institution. On the one hand, the kids are well loved, well fed, and even educated to some degree. (I saw a class room of older boys singing.) I am so thankful for this, I truly am, but then I just want to scream at him to stop drugging my little boy and what kind of monster is he that he would just sedate him and stick him in bed! I know deep down that the director thinks that this is what is best for him...their thinking is that he is calmer and happier this way and that he is easier to take care of like this with their limited staff. It is very conflicting and emotionally draining to be on display and to know that as the first family to adopt from this institution that we are paving the way for other families and need to establish a good and trusting relationship.
We won't be able to visit Easton over the weekend, but will start out visits again on Monday. We will probably so exploring and shopping while we have the time. I just love the language barrier sometimes. Our facilitator, said to us one day, "Eventually, you will be very boring!" Indeed I might. :)
2 comments:
So amazing!!!! Excited for you all and praying for you!
Chris
So much is ignorance. I spent a summer workin at a mental institute for the 'mentally retarded' in New Jersey in the 1980's. Every single person in that institute ages 6 and up was drugged. That was how they did things. I was a Licensed Practical Nurse at the time and my job was to shove pills into them. Every one of them. From the docile to the insane. A few years after I left the thinking changed and drugging patients became wrong. Institutes like that one were closed down and the people inside were moved to group homes. I hated my job that summer. I hated doing what we were doing to those people. But it was a common solution to keep the patients under control.
Make sure the people there tell you what he is taking and how much. He is going to go into some major withdrawl when you stop giving him those drugs. If you can get some advice from a doctor before taking him off his pills - do it!!
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